January 16th, 2005

女暗部 - face in the crowd / kodoku

(no subject)

Tired. Been crying a lot today too. Maybe I shouldn't have gone.

Since LJ was down, I didn't get to tell anyone outside of #asr that I went to my mother's place last night. And when I got there.. well, I don't know if LJ was up yet or not, I couldn't get online anyway because the rats had chewed over the cable again.

I should have known a woman who lets her rats chew over the same cable numerous times, and still doesn't keep a set of spares, couldn't be trusted with watching my cat. Well.. it never surprised me to hear she had ran away. But I had no other alternatives. Putting her in a pet hotel for three weeks would cost more than I make in a month. My dad was going to Thailand, leaving the same day I did (And he would have said no anyway). There were no one else I could ask. And I couldn't leave her here, alone for three weeks. No one I could ask to give her food and water every day.

Going there and her not being there really hurt. I went outside and called for her, even though I knew she must have long left the area.

Whether I blame my mother for being inattentive, or myself for leaving Odessa in my mom's care, or for leaving her.. doesn't change the pain I feel.

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Via my friends of friends page: http://www.livejournal.com/users/misia/607364.html
I don't have the words..
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