August 25th, 2010

drosera wants a hug

I am tired of the everydays.


I'm doing significantly better than I have in the past, but I still find it exhausting to do everything I need to do all the time.

I've made some progress in tidying up my home. It barely shows.

I've made a great deal of progress in eating healthily, but it takes a lot of effort. I keep a food journal where I chronicle everything I eat. It's working great for me, and sometimes I'll avoid something unhealthful or go for a smaller portion because I don't want to tell my journal what a glutton I can be. What surprises me is that this works even though it is private; I've always had the impression that I perform better when I have an audience. Maybe my self-respect has increased? It has helped me in the past to state publicly that I will do something to force myself to do it, because I don't want to disappoint my friends. Now, I am capable of doing something to avoid disappointing myself.

In getting sufficient exercise, I am not faring so well. My success in weight reduction is almost entirely by the virtue of eating less.

I sleep terribly almost every night. I feel this is not something I have much control over. It does help, a little, to take melatonin, but usually all that will do for me is make me fall asleep, sleep for two hours, and then go right back to insomnia. (Maybe I need the Time Release flavor. [inside joke: I was looking at melatonin on and one had listed "Flavor: Time Release"])

Yesterday I bought a (decorative) Aloe plant. Let's see how long I can manage to keep it alive.. It is currently my only houseplant. I've never had much luck with indoor plants in the past. My Dracaena did fairly well, until the cat started using it as a scratching post.