Astral Viking (kriatyrr) wrote,
Astral Viking
kriatyrr

Anti-depressants.

 

So, I have a prescription for a very low dosage of something called Cipralex. I'm not going on it before Wednesday; we don't know how it'll affect me, and I have stuff I don't want to risk messing up on Monday and Tuesday. The major issue I have with it is that I have to be extremely careful with alcohol. I'm not forbidden from drinking, but I have to exercise extreme caution. It could greatly enhance the effects of the alcohol -- or the drug. After the appointment I had some blood taken for testing. Barely felt it - it wasn't any worse than the mosquito sting from yesterday (which doesn't itch, by the way, because I let her finish).

I did make it clear that I had been happy before, and that I know a pill isn't going to fix my problems (but it might help). Although I don't have a full-blown depression right now, since the vile one is gone, I do have things that worry me a lot, and I still start crying whenever anything is difficult; we're hoping the drug will help me with that.

Today was another sunny day, and after I got back home I fell ded in bed. At some point I must have fallen asleep, because I had disturbing dreams aplenty. The worst part was that I thought it was real, because I was ded in the dream as well, never noticing that I fell asleep. Dreamed that the vile one was back, and he was pissed. And I couldn't even move.. could just hope that my lock would hold. There was a crack in the wall, by the sliding door, and he was staring at me with such malice..

Later it occurred to me that his room isn't next to mine, it's below. I had to really concentrate to remember the layout of the house, because the way it was in the dream didn't seem unusual to me at first. Realizing it was most likely a dream didn't let me wake up, but it allowed me to calm down some.

Then later in the dream I convinced some vampire children to run away from their father, who by the way was incredibly scary. And huge! Not as huge as the King of All Cosmos, but several times the size of an adult human.

So, I slept away most of the day, and not pleasantly.
Tags: ded, depression, drugs, weird dreams
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