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I'm not lost, I just don't know where I'm going.
But I'm determined to enjoy the journey.
12th-Jun-2007 16:03
女暗部 - flowers

It's been a week since I received the news, it's about time I write about it.

Margrete Somerville, a dear friend of mine, recently passed away. Like practically all my other friends, I didn't see her often. I think the last time I saw her was ARCON last summer. I can still hear her voice in my mind. Always cheerful, she could tell me it'll work out and even in my depths of despair I'd believe her.

I think it's still sinking in. It's so incredibly unfair, but that's how life is. You never know who you are going to lose next. And it is a great loss. To me, to her family and friends, to the role-playing scene, and to humanity itself. We've lost someone who made the world a better place.

I have no idea what to say. I don't believe in an afterlife, so I can't comfort myself with the idea that she's in a better place. The idea of her no longer existing frightens me, but that's what I'm faced with.

How do you guys deal with death? The realization that you or a loved one will someday die? I've been thinking about death a lot lately..
12th-Jun-2007 14:22 (UTC) - ...
I don't know. When my grandmother passed away I was five years old and didn't completely realize what happened. When my grandfather died four years ago, I felt more relieved than sad - it pained me more to see him struggling with his incurable condition.
Truthfully, I don't know how I would react if a person close to me died and I dread the day when I have to face this.
12th-Jun-2007 15:32 (UTC)

My mother died last year after fighting cancer for a year or so. I was more relieved than sad by then.

I miss my mom, but she told me before she died that all I had to do was think about her, and there she would be. And I guess that mirrors my own beliefs ... that as long as we keep someone alive in our memories, they dont die completely.

I dont know if theres an afterlife. She believed in one, so Id like to think shes there now.

12th-Jun-2007 16:07 (UTC)
Even if you don't believe in an afterlife, if death is inevitable don't you owe it to yourself to find some way to embrace it? Look at it like it's our final, unavoidable bow as human beings. We all have our own ideas regarding the existence and quality of the afterlife, but this much we have in common: We aren't going to live forever, at least not on this plane. So it's good to come to terms with death.

That being the ideal, I can only imagine what you're faced with. Losing someone you care for is incredibly challenging. I'll keep you in my prayers, even if you DON'T believe in that sort of thing. :P
12th-Jun-2007 16:43 (UTC)
I'm not sure how I deal with it, to be honest.

I have known several people that have died - family members, teachers, and so on.
However, most of them died back in my anti-social days, so I literally felt nothing.
12th-Jun-2007 21:25 (UTC)
The only people close to me I've lost to death are my two grandparents on my mother's side (my grandfather in 2000 and my grandmother in 2004) and I miss them dearly. I have two regrets regarding them: that I didn't appreciate their presence more than I did and that I wasted so much of my early life not actually living and that they couldn't see my little daughter.

When I deal with death, I feel numb.
14th-Jun-2007 03:19 (UTC)
My father died only a year or so ago. I'm still sad about it, and I will always be at least a little sad about it. But I realize there is very little I could have done to stop it.

All I can say is don't let death drive you away from those you care about that are still alive. Any time spent with someone you care about is precious.
14th-Jun-2007 09:20 (UTC)
I want to answer your question, but the truth is that I suck at dealing with death. I keep it bottled up inside, and generally make a mess of dealing with death.

Anyway - I assume I'll see you at Vestre krematorium tomorrow at 13.30?
14th-Jun-2007 17:56 (UTC)
Igjen, takk for varselen. Hadde ikke fått med meg det. Kommer til å være der, selvfølgelig.
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