Got the feeling at Arcon today that I don't really belong, and never did. Everyone else is having fun, and I just want to find someplace quiet and read or some other solitary activity. Hearing voices everywhere gets to me. Though, the con was relaxing compared to the subway ride home. My mp3 player couldn't quite drown out the cacophony of voices. It seemed like they were all talking, to each other or on their cellphones. I saw people looking at me, judging me and finding me unworthy.
Maybe I won't even go tomorrow. I don't want to be there. It'll all be over by the time I'm awake enough to go, anyway.
I'm sorry I'm not fun to hang out with.