Astral Viking (kriatyrr) wrote,
Astral Viking

Still have things to say


My long streak of no depressive symptoms is at an end. Now I'm freaking out about the paperwork I need to put together for tomorrow. Though honestly, I don't know if it is expected of me to have it all together by then.

I don't even know where to look. Well, I know it's in the living room, but.. Can you find anything in here?

2014-05-01 13.57.43

I often get paralyzed by the thought "Where do I even begin?". I know I said this before, but it's a pretty persistent thing in my life. I am extremely hesitant to begin something I have no confidence in my ability to complete. I often start things and don't finish them.

I wrote this thing on Tumblr today: ----

Once in a while I’ll think about the people I knew when I was a kid, and it strikes me that it’s much harder to reconnect with female friends than the male ones, because so many of them will have gotten married by now and changed their last names. Guys rarely have this problem.

Not that I particularly care to reconnect after all this time. I was a different person then, they’ll be a different person now, we might not have anything in common at all at this point. It wouldn’t be so different from starting from scratch. We used to live in the same village. That’s all.

I’m not easy to find either. I’ve changed my last name (discarded my father’s last name and took my mother’s maiden name instead) and my second name (never really felt like “my” name so I replaced it with one that is). I’ve kept my first name, because naturally I am quite used to being called Ragnhild. Even that I might eventually discard, though I resent the main incentive to do so: My full name is so long that my second name is usually omitted, and that is the name that I feel most closely describes me.

It was prompted by seeing a photo set of a gorgeous cat, and when I saw the photographer's name, I thought "Isn't that...?" yeah I think I was in her older brother's class at elementary school. Lives in the same general area. Could be. Wouldn't have anything to say to her other than I remember she was there, and she's a better photographer than I am.

I wonder if my old classmates remember that I was there.

Oh, and I revived a snail today. Found it under my bed; no idea how long it had been there. Gave it a soak and it slowly came to. Put it outside once it had recovered. They do that thing, when they run out of moisture. Some sort of hibernation, waiting for the next rainfall.
Tags: mental health, names, reminiscence, snails

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