Went to the lake again today. Every time I do, I wonder why I don't go more often. It's beautiful and quiet. Also no cell signal, so I'm completely cut off from the world. And my depression blocks me from going out and getting the exercise I desperately need. So today was a victory in the eternal struggle that I will some day lose. But not today. Today I am glorious.
Still no progress on.. anything, really. Still feel like I have been abandoned. I need so much help and I'm not getting it. That's.. really more a comment on my situation rather than a cry for help.
There was a great post floating around on tumblr a while back that said that Self Care is really all about breaking harmful patterns. Be nice to yourself when the world is treating you harshly, go out and get some exercise when you've been stewing at home, that sort of thing. I've been spending far too much time on video games (okay, really just Skyrim) lately and I'm starting to get a little jaded on it. I just do the same things over and over again with a new character. To spice it up a little, my current character joined the Dark Brotherhood, the third out of fifteen characters to do so. I don't particularly like being an assassin.. the characters are great, though. But I think it's time to go back to one of the older Elder Scrolls games, if I can stand the dated graphics. Daggerfall was where it all begun for me, but with the recent GOG sale I now legitimately own Arena, Redguard and Battlespire too.
Of course, just replacing one game with another isn't really breaking a harmful pattern. I long to knit again, but the only thing I really want to knit, I don't have the yarn for. Yet.